I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
