giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
