Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
