i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
