can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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