WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
