A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
