Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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