You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
