I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
