Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
