you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Randomize
