yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
