Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
