This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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