i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
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