Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
