Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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