dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
she told me i tasted like america
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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