Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
i think i just lost a toe
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
