Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
