My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
