Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
