It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
ugly people sure do ruin things
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
