Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
