i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
