i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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