god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
