Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
try to milk me bitch
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