She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
