But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
