I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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