From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
