we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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