I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I think I sprained my soul last night
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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