piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
