Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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