I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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