I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I love having hate sex.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Randomize
