Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
