First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
