I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
