I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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