She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
