Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
She needs sedatives and a leash
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Randomize
