Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
