Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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