you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
