Your dad touched me again.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize