I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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