We got so high we made milksteak
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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