i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
