As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
