dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
