1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Welp...herpes.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
