Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
