Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I booty called her while she was in labor.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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