Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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