I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
