dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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